Kids learn everything from their parents including relationship modeling. They see how parents treat each other and that affects kids’ future relationships. Living in the same house kids sees all the arguments and disagreements, but doesn’t fully understand the reasons of them, so they can start to think that is a part of normal family life. If you don’t want that happen, you need to teach your kids relationship lessons with examples that explain the real situation.
First thing kids need to understand is that argumenting is not the same thing as fighting. If you are argumenting you can let the kids see that, because it’s a normal conversation, where the both parts have their own opinion, but never let the kids see you fighting. If you are using some inappropriate words, screaming or moralizing, don’t let your kids see that. They can think that it is normal to solve problems this way.
Of course, we all are only human and sometimes kids can see and hear some hard words parents say to each other, but that can be fixed. If your kids have witnessed something inappropriate, let them see that you have made a mistake and that is not a way how to talk to each other. Ask your partner for forgiveness and be sincere. Look each other in the eye, say sorry, and say what you did wrong. If your kids will see that, they will understand not only that fighting is wrong, but also that you need to take responsibility for your words.
Kids also need to see that parents always take care of each other. Remember that if you sometimes choose to ignore your partners’ needs, kids will see that as well and will think it’s normal to not consider family members needs. Let the kids see that problems are a part of family life and make them understand that they are common for all the family members. Never show discontent in these kinds of situations.
Also it is useful to show kids that there is need for a romance and privacy in relationship. Of course, you don’t need to tell all the details, but tell your kids that you will go out or spent some time alone to have some fun. That will teach your kids that marriage or partnership is not all about parenting and responsibilities and parents have their private life as well.
And the last thing every parent should teach their kids is that you have to love your partner no matter what. It is not enough if you only don’t fight in front of kids. They also need to see that you enjoy the marriage and family life. Otherwise they won’t be interested to have a serious relationship in the future. Say nice things to your partner, smile, treat each other well, give gifts and show how nice it is to have a husband or wife that loves you.