What to do when child ignores the limits?

When children ignore the limits you have set it is very frustrating. It can lead to yelling and some harsh punishments even if you are against that kind of parenting methods. If you have faced with these kinds of problems before, you should think of using other methods before you get really mad. And don’t bother limiting their money because that will make them ask other people for money and that in fact can lead to much grater risk of them taking on loans бързи кредити or кредит без трудов договор in the future.

First you have to understand why exactly the limits are being crossed. Talk to your child to make sure your limits are reasonable and needed. Sometimes parents want their kids do something just because it is accepted that way. They don’t care of child’s personal needs and wishes. Maybe your child is actually right and you are the one who is not reasonable and who should chance the behavior.

Of course most of the time children disobey just because they are pushing the limits. They just want to play and don’t want any duties and restrictions. Also grownups sometimes don’t want to something, but they have stronger sense of responsibility.

Children just don’t know about the consequences of not doing something. In this case you first should have an opened talk and explain why it is so important to do the duties and behave. If that is not working you should really think of some punishments. For example, don’t buy your children something that he wants to show there is some consequences.

But punishment alone won’t give the results. You must make sure your child really understands why he got punished. After that you must have and opened, caring talk. This conversation can’t be formal and cold. Go close to your child, put the arm on his shoulder and explain why he got punished. He must clearly see the connection between pushing the limits and not getting what he wants.

If that is not helping there are probably some more serious reasons for your child’s behavior. Maybe he is trying to prove something or just wants your attention. Sometimes even punishments and yelling are what children want, because it is the only way how t get any attention and affection from parents. You must emphasize. Think like your child. Think what would be these reasons. Maybe it is your own fault, because you don’t see what your child actual needs are.

If you can’t figure out the reasons of your child’s behavior by yourself, you should search for a help from professional child psychotherapist. Probably he will have experienced lot of complicated cases and will know why your child is pushing the limits after you have tried everything. He will know how to talk to your child to find the actual reasons.

In the conclusion we want to say that there is no such thing as bad children, only wrong parenting and lack of understanding. You must find the actual reasons not just yell and put unreasonable punishments. That won’t give any effect, only will make your child feel bad and willing to push the limits even more.

Should you be a strict parent?

Many parents think that strict parenting is the best way how to discipline the children and make them obedient. Parents think that it will help their children to become better personalities in the future, but strict parenting also has some disadvantages as well. If parents are very strict, children look up to them and see them as their bosses instead of friends and that really doesn’t help to maintain strong family bounds and good, caring and opened relationship. So is being a strict good or bad choice?

First you should know what harm strict parenting can do to your child. First of all that will make your children hide everything from you and there won’t be any trust into your relationship. Every time your child will have any problems he will choose to cope with them alone, because he might think there will be a punishment if he tells the truth. Children are afraid of strict parents and that is the worst thing family can deal with.

Strict parenting can also lower children’s self esteem. Strict parenting usually comes along with critics. That basically means all your children’s expressions that doesn’t go along with parents views must be punished and that your children is not good enough. When the children grow up they live by the same rules and that means they will feel unevaluated.

Also strict parenting means obsession and sometimes it can give opposite effect – your children will do anything to finally get free. This is very highly observed among teenagers. They will start to rebel. Children also need their own will and you must let them make their own decisions otherwise they will just disobey you.

There are also other ways how strict parenting can negatively influence child’s behavior and also family relationship, but there are also something good in that. Children who have been raised strictly usually really are more disciplined and they have better results in school. They know what their duties are and they do everything they should do.

Strict parenting also will help your child to integrate into society. Disciplined and polite people are highly accepted and others don’t avoid them. That refers to both, children and grownups. Society is now willing to accept those who disobey.

So as we can understand there really are some very important disadvantaged of strict parenting but also there are as meaningful and important benefits. Does that means patents have to choose either they want their kids to be disciplined and with good achievements or they want strong and opened family relationship? Actually, no, parents must find the balance.

That really is a hard task. You as a parent must evaluate each situation separately and know how to react each time. It is hard to be a friend and a mentor at the same time, but it is the golden path that will lead to good results in your family and child’s life. The key of success is actually talking – explain all your actions and your children will understand everything.

Fathers’ role in raising children

Father is very important mentor for children. Unfortunately in most of the families fathers are not involved into children’s lives in the same level as mothers. Fathers should not only play with kids once in a while and support them financially, but also be their mentor and fully get involved into parenting. It is proved that fathers’ engagement in children’s life can make meaningful difference in their behavior and mental health.

However mother alone also can ensure affection, communication, love and all the other important conditions, fathers tend to parent differently and children need to get it all from both parents. Feathers that get involved info parenting tend to spend some more private time with children alone and that can affect the children emotional development. This time together make children trust more and also make them feel important and evaluated. When they grow up they will feel sure about themselves and feel needed and accepted.

Also fathers are not so serious and worried about everything. Fathers like to play with their children rather than do something very educational and important. That can give the children bunch of good emotions. Children must be playful and cheerful. Usually fathers are those who can really ensure that with no obstacles.

Especially important is father’s role in rising sons. They must learn how to be a man. They must see a great example and they must mostly learn everything from their fathers not mothers. Unfortunately that is happening rear. Fathers do teach the most important things and even talk about some embarrassing topics, but teaching also must include influencing the emotional state of mind and that can be done only by spending time together and communicating a lot. Father must show the affection to improve the son’s behavior and mental health in indirect way.

But also in raising daughter, father should be involved. Also girls need to get an example of a man. Although daughters should learn mostly from others, they must know what men are, how they are different and what they should be like. There is reason why many girls choose their husbands similar to their fathers when they grow up. They subconsciously think that real man should be like their fathers, even if the fathers were not on the top level in parenting. If father wish all the best for his daughter then he must be the greatest example. Of course there are also some emotional aspects that daughters must get from the father.

Mothers definitely should not raise their children alone. Remember that some moments together is not all that father can give. He must be able to do everything that mother can There shouldn’t be a situation when father is not able to spend few days with children alone just because he doesn’t know what to do and how to raise them. Both fathers and children will appreciate if fathers get involved into full time raising.

Involve the grandparents into kids’ lives

Lot of grandparents love their grandchildren and are willing to spend time with them. On one hand it’s a good idea, because grandparents and children can have some good time and parents can have some time for themselves, but one the other hand lot of parents don’t want grandparents to tread on their way of parenting or just don’t trust them for some reasons. Grandparents really can affect the kids educational development, but if you do everything right, that can be a benefit instead of shortage.

The involvement of grandparents into the kids’ lives is very important, because of many aspects. First of all, by communicating with grandparents they can understand the variability of life. Also that is a good way how to teach family-oriented values. Kids can also learn lot of things from their grandparents directly, because of their life experience. Broadly speaking, it’s a good way how to expand kids’ horizons.

If you want to let your grandparents to spend a lot of time with your kids, but there are some special desires regards parenting or teaching, just tell that. Usually grandparents are not willing to dastard parents’ intentions and if they make some mistakes, it’s only because of not knowing parents’ view. Have an open conversation and make everything clear. If that is done, you can leave your kids with your grandparents.

Unfortunately, you can’t discuss every situation that might come up and if you don’t have any clue, how your grandparents will treat your kids, spend some time all together at first. Let your grandparents play with your kids and take care of them, but be there and watch them. If you don’t like something, just tell and it is pretty sure that grandparents will respect that. Later you will be able to leave them alone with no worries.

Another issue is that parents are afraid that grandparents won’t be able to cope with this task, because of their physical abilities. Kids can be quite active, so parents don’t want to entrust this task to grandparents. In this case you really should evaluate grandparents’ ability, but remember that they have raised some kids before.

However, if you don’t want to leave your kids with grandparents, for longer time, at least spent some time all together. Don’t push them out of your kids’ lives, because they can teach so much to them. Go for a walk together or go visit them often if they live far away. You don’t have to necessary let them raise your kids, but at least let them be a part of your kids lives.

There is no better way how to introduce your kids to family values than by spending time with grandparents. It does the honor to the grandparents and ensures strong connection between the generations.

How does parents’ relationship affect kids?

Kids learn everything from their parents including relationship modeling. They see how parents treat each other and that affects kids’ future relationships. Living in the same house kids sees all the arguments and disagreements, but doesn’t fully understand the reasons of them, so they can start to think that is a part of normal family life. If you don’t want that happen, you need to teach your kids relationship lessons with examples that explain the real situation.

First thing kids need to understand is that argumenting is not the same thing as fighting. If you are argumenting you can let the kids see that, because it’s a normal conversation, where the both parts have their own opinion, but never let the kids see you fighting. If you are using some inappropriate words, screaming or moralizing, don’t let your kids see that. They can think that it is normal to solve problems this way.

Of course, we all are only human and sometimes kids can see and hear some hard words parents say to each other, but that can be fixed. If your kids have witnessed something inappropriate, let them see that you have made a mistake and that is not a way how to talk to each other. Ask your partner for forgiveness and be sincere. Look each other in the eye, say sorry, and say what you did wrong. If your kids will see that, they will understand not only that fighting is wrong, but also that you need to take responsibility for your words.

Kids also need to see that parents always take care of each other. Remember that if you sometimes choose to ignore your partners’ needs, kids will see that as well and will think it’s normal to not consider family members needs. Let the kids see that problems are a part of family life and make them understand that they are common for all the family members. Never show discontent in these kinds of situations.

Also it is useful to show kids that there is need for a romance and privacy in relationship. Of course, you don’t need to tell all the details, but tell your kids that you will go out or spent some time alone to have some fun. That will teach your kids that marriage or partnership is not all about parenting and responsibilities and parents have their private life as well.

And the last thing every parent should teach their kids is that you have to love your partner no matter what. It is not enough if you only don’t fight in front of kids. They also need to see that you enjoy the marriage and family life. Otherwise they won’t be interested to have a serious relationship in the future. Say nice things to your partner, smile, treat each other well, give gifts and show how nice it is to have a husband or wife that loves you.