How to maintain strong family bounds after parents get divorced?

Divorce is a huge change in any family. It is hard time for anyone, but especially affected are kids. They don’t truly understand why it is happening and can’t imagine their further life without seeing both of the parents each day. Also parents usually are confused. They don’t want to hurt the kids, so they should see each other as much as possible, but at the same time they want to start a new life without involvement of previous partner. The good news is that if you do everything right, you might keep the strong family bounds in your new life as well.

First you must talk to your partner and make agreements about further parenting. It is very important that both of the ex partners want the same and they will go the same way. Otherwise there will be a lot of misunderstandings and the one who will suffer the most will be your child. Talk about each and every aspect to make sure you won’t have to fight in front of your child.

Next step is talking to your child. Explain what is happening and what the reasons are. Child must know that it is not his fault in any kind of way. It is parents deal only and children must be convinced that is not going to affect the parent’s attitude towards them. Yu must tell that both parents will still love him although they won’t be living together and most of the time there will be only one of the parents around.

When all the family know what’s happening and how to deal with it, you must know when is it fine to not contact your ex partner and when it is not. It is sure that both parents will still have to spend a lot of time together. They doesn’t need to meet each other to talk about their own life’s or relationship if they don’t want to, but when it comes to children, both parents must be informed and involved in the same level.

If you really want to keep strong family bounds than also there will be a need to have some family time even if you have another partner. You need to go on holidays, celebrate birthdays and Christmas, go shopping together and do all the other things that any normal family does.

The biggest obstacle in keeping good relationship in most of the cases is the new relationship and sometimes even new family, but that is not a reason to forget about your other children. You must talk to your new partner and make sure there won’t be any problems to meet the children and their mother when it is needed. Also both families should keep friendly relationship, because there is a pretty big chance they will have to meet each other a lot.

All of the conditions mentioned above are very complicated. It really isn’t easy to start new relationship and at the same time keep the old life, but you must do it for your children. There will be some fights, but convince your children that it is not because of them.

How to build healthy family relationship?

In children’s life the most important thing is healthy family relationship. That is a base of the wellbeing and children’s overall mental health. Nothing else can replace loving and caring family. Unfortunately it is not always easy to build strong family relationship. That means putting families’ needs as a priority, even when there are other obligations and there is not always plenty of time to dedicate to family. If you want your children to grow up as strong personalities and good, loving people, make sure you do your best to build healthy family relationship.

There are two main dimensions that have important effects on strong family relationship – caring and warm communication and limits of children’s behavior. Parents must find balance between them and dedicate time to make sure they are engaging both of them. Of course, both of these dimensions include many blocks that must be taken into a consideration.

First block is overall communication. Dedicate time to communicate with your family members. Even if they are telling something that doesn’t seem too important, you must listen. That is the only way how to make sure your family members will talk about everything. Honesty and openness is the very base, so make sure you are not forgetting about daily communication.

Next block is togetherness. That means spending time together. This is usually a challenge for most of the parents. Although they consider family as their priority, when it comes to spending time together, work and other obligations suddenly turn out to be more important. Of course parents must work to financially support their children, but it must be remembered that money alone won’t give your children well childhood. You must also invest some of your time.

Affection is also important. Those can be words, hugs or kisses, but your family members must know that you love them. That is especially important for small children, because it obviously and clearly shows how important they are.

Acceptance is what really can help in strong relationship building. Show all your family members that you understand them and that you accept their choices even if you are in different thoughts. That is really hard, because parents what to protect their children and don’t want them to make any mistakes, but you must let them make their own decisions and accept them. You can tell your opinion but if that is not changing family members mind then just accept.

And the last block is commitment. Remember that you are responsible for your family members and you must do anything to make sure they have everything they need. You can’t just forget something or refrain from something and after that act like everything is fine.

So basically it is all about mutual understanding and trust, but it won’t magically appear by itself. You must work for it hard. You must earn your family members trust and show them that you will always be there for them. Your family must be a priority also practically, not only theoretically.

Have some quality family time!

Lot of people thinks they spent a lot of time with their family, because they see all the family members every day. They eat at the same table, drive in the same car and do the house works together. It is true – they spend time with family members, but it can’t be called a quality family time. To have a strong and happy family, you need to understand what quality family time is and why it is needed.

Quality family time for each family can mean something else. For some it is board game evening, for some trips around the world and for some simple conversations at the dinner table. Whatever it is, all family members have to be involved and they have to really enjoy it. Family time can’t be an obligation. It is a hard task to find activities that all family members enjoy, because each has different interests and needs, but it is the main success of family strengthening. If you have no idea what your family members want or if you know that each one of them want something different, make a family meeting an find a compromise.

Also it is very important for family time to be leisurely. If someone will watch at the clock all the time and think of work or other obligations, others will feel undervalued. Family time is meant only for family. Tell all your coworkers, friends and acquaintances to not disturb you. If you have loads of other works to do that really can’t be postponed than better choose another time to spend with your family.

It is very important to spend some quality time with your family, because it helps to build strong bounds with all the family members and makes all the family members to appreciate each other. Even if family members don’t say that loud, they appreciate that others take some time off for them. Hectic everyday life can be exhausting and family members sometimes see each other unhappy, mad or stressed, which makes to think that there is always something wrong. Especially kids may think that parents have some serious problems and nothing will be good anymore. Quality family time can show them, that everything is fine and everyone can have some fun.

Of course, family time is more important for kids. Parents can have some quality time also together with other people, but for kids it’s the best adventure. All the best childhood memories will be based on that. If you want to ensure a good childhood for your kids, than freed some time for them no matter what. It also affects the way your kids will look at life and priorities in the future.

So when you know what is a quality family time and why it is so important, ensure your family will have that. Other things can wait, because family always has to be the priority.