Divorce is a huge change in any family. It is hard time for anyone, but especially affected are kids. They don’t truly understand why it is happening and can’t imagine their further life without seeing both of the parents each day. Also parents usually are confused. They don’t want to hurt the kids, so they should see each other as much as possible, but at the same time they want to start a new life without involvement of previous partner. The good news is that if you do everything right, you might keep the strong family bounds in your new life as well.
First you must talk to your partner and make agreements about further parenting. It is very important that both of the ex partners want the same and they will go the same way. Otherwise there will be a lot of misunderstandings and the one who will suffer the most will be your child. Talk about each and every aspect to make sure you won’t have to fight in front of your child.
Next step is talking to your child. Explain what is happening and what the reasons are. Child must know that it is not his fault in any kind of way. It is parents deal only and children must be convinced that is not going to affect the parent’s attitude towards them. Yu must tell that both parents will still love him although they won’t be living together and most of the time there will be only one of the parents around.
When all the family know what’s happening and how to deal with it, you must know when is it fine to not contact your ex partner and when it is not. It is sure that both parents will still have to spend a lot of time together. They doesn’t need to meet each other to talk about their own life’s or relationship if they don’t want to, but when it comes to children, both parents must be informed and involved in the same level.
If you really want to keep strong family bounds than also there will be a need to have some family time even if you have another partner. You need to go on holidays, celebrate birthdays and Christmas, go shopping together and do all the other things that any normal family does.
The biggest obstacle in keeping good relationship in most of the cases is the new relationship and sometimes even new family, but that is not a reason to forget about your other children. You must talk to your new partner and make sure there won’t be any problems to meet the children and their mother when it is needed. Also both families should keep friendly relationship, because there is a pretty big chance they will have to meet each other a lot.
All of the conditions mentioned above are very complicated. It really isn’t easy to start new relationship and at the same time keep the old life, but you must do it for your children. There will be some fights, but convince your children that it is not because of them.