What to do when child ignores the limits?

When children ignore the limits you have set it is very frustrating. It can lead to yelling and some harsh punishments even if you are against that kind of parenting methods. If you have faced with these kinds of problems before, you should think of using other methods before you get really mad. And don’t bother limiting their money because that will make them ask other people for money and that in fact can lead to much grater risk of them taking on loans бързи кредити or кредит без трудов договор in the future.

First you have to understand why exactly the limits are being crossed. Talk to your child to make sure your limits are reasonable and needed. Sometimes parents want their kids do something just because it is accepted that way. They don’t care of child’s personal needs and wishes. Maybe your child is actually right and you are the one who is not reasonable and who should chance the behavior.

Of course most of the time children disobey just because they are pushing the limits. They just want to play and don’t want any duties and restrictions. Also grownups sometimes don’t want to something, but they have stronger sense of responsibility.

Children just don’t know about the consequences of not doing something. In this case you first should have an opened talk and explain why it is so important to do the duties and behave. If that is not working you should really think of some punishments. For example, don’t buy your children something that he wants to show there is some consequences.

But punishment alone won’t give the results. You must make sure your child really understands why he got punished. After that you must have and opened, caring talk. This conversation can’t be formal and cold. Go close to your child, put the arm on his shoulder and explain why he got punished. He must clearly see the connection between pushing the limits and not getting what he wants.

If that is not helping there are probably some more serious reasons for your child’s behavior. Maybe he is trying to prove something or just wants your attention. Sometimes even punishments and yelling are what children want, because it is the only way how t get any attention and affection from parents. You must emphasize. Think like your child. Think what would be these reasons. Maybe it is your own fault, because you don’t see what your child actual needs are.

If you can’t figure out the reasons of your child’s behavior by yourself, you should search for a help from professional child psychotherapist. Probably he will have experienced lot of complicated cases and will know why your child is pushing the limits after you have tried everything. He will know how to talk to your child to find the actual reasons.

In the conclusion we want to say that there is no such thing as bad children, only wrong parenting and lack of understanding. You must find the actual reasons not just yell and put unreasonable punishments. That won’t give any effect, only will make your child feel bad and willing to push the limits even more.

What can we learn from our children?

Parents think that they are the ones who are giving life lessons to their children. They are pretty sure that they know everything better, but actually there are many things we can learn from our children. Our children are lot more cheerful, confident and satisfied with life and we can these and other qualities from them.

First thing we can adapt to our lives are creative expressions. Have you notice how much happiness in kid’s lives brings drawing, painting, making figurines from clay and other creative actions? That is because creativity sets the mind free and let person to forget all the negativity. Adults don’t do these kind of things because they don’t have time and they better choose other ways how to relax, but it really can help to cope with everyday stress.

Also freedom and opened minds of children can teach us something. Children don’t feel shame like grownups do. They can dance any time the music is on and eat with their fingers when it feels more comfortable. Of course grownups need to be polite and follow the etiquette, but sometimes we suppress our desires just because we are afraid that others will judge us. At least be yourself when you are alone or among best friends.

The most amazing ability of children is activity. We can learn how to be active from our children. Have you ever seen child running around all day and not feeling tired at all? You can do the same; just don’t try to find any excuses. We also were able to run all day when we were little, so why wouldn’t we be able to do it now? We justify oneself, because it is easier, but we are able to be as active as our children.

Another great ability of children is noticing small things that give them loads of happiness. Grownups only focus on negative things. We get stressed because of all the little obligations and mistakes, but we don’t see the beautiful things all around us. Children can be happy because of seeing butterfly or getting an ice cream. For adults those are compelling things that can’t make them happy. If we stop seeing these nice little things as part of everyday life and starts appreciate them, there will be a lot more positive emotions in our lives.

And the last thing is kindness. Children don’t blackmail others or talk behind the back. They are nice to everyone and forgive everything. Just imagine how great the life would be if we all could live without resentment, selfishness, greediness, envy and all the other negative emotion just like the children does.

There are also other qualities and abilities that we can learn from children. Just what makes them happy and how they cope with negativity? You will be surprised how good they are at these things and how easy it is to adapt child’s abilities. That is the best way how to become a better person for you and others.

Should you be a strict parent?

Many parents think that strict parenting is the best way how to discipline the children and make them obedient. Parents think that it will help their children to become better personalities in the future, but strict parenting also has some disadvantages as well. If parents are very strict, children look up to them and see them as their bosses instead of friends and that really doesn’t help to maintain strong family bounds and good, caring and opened relationship. So is being a strict good or bad choice?

First you should know what harm strict parenting can do to your child. First of all that will make your children hide everything from you and there won’t be any trust into your relationship. Every time your child will have any problems he will choose to cope with them alone, because he might think there will be a punishment if he tells the truth. Children are afraid of strict parents and that is the worst thing family can deal with.

Strict parenting can also lower children’s self esteem. Strict parenting usually comes along with critics. That basically means all your children’s expressions that doesn’t go along with parents views must be punished and that your children is not good enough. When the children grow up they live by the same rules and that means they will feel unevaluated.

Also strict parenting means obsession and sometimes it can give opposite effect – your children will do anything to finally get free. This is very highly observed among teenagers. They will start to rebel. Children also need their own will and you must let them make their own decisions otherwise they will just disobey you.

There are also other ways how strict parenting can negatively influence child’s behavior and also family relationship, but there are also something good in that. Children who have been raised strictly usually really are more disciplined and they have better results in school. They know what their duties are and they do everything they should do.

Strict parenting also will help your child to integrate into society. Disciplined and polite people are highly accepted and others don’t avoid them. That refers to both, children and grownups. Society is now willing to accept those who disobey.

So as we can understand there really are some very important disadvantaged of strict parenting but also there are as meaningful and important benefits. Does that means patents have to choose either they want their kids to be disciplined and with good achievements or they want strong and opened family relationship? Actually, no, parents must find the balance.

That really is a hard task. You as a parent must evaluate each situation separately and know how to react each time. It is hard to be a friend and a mentor at the same time, but it is the golden path that will lead to good results in your family and child’s life. The key of success is actually talking – explain all your actions and your children will understand everything.

How to maintain strong family bounds after parents get divorced?

Divorce is a huge change in any family. It is hard time for anyone, but especially affected are kids. They don’t truly understand why it is happening and can’t imagine their further life without seeing both of the parents each day. Also parents usually are confused. They don’t want to hurt the kids, so they should see each other as much as possible, but at the same time they want to start a new life without involvement of previous partner. The good news is that if you do everything right, you might keep the strong family bounds in your new life as well.

First you must talk to your partner and make agreements about further parenting. It is very important that both of the ex partners want the same and they will go the same way. Otherwise there will be a lot of misunderstandings and the one who will suffer the most will be your child. Talk about each and every aspect to make sure you won’t have to fight in front of your child.

Next step is talking to your child. Explain what is happening and what the reasons are. Child must know that it is not his fault in any kind of way. It is parents deal only and children must be convinced that is not going to affect the parent’s attitude towards them. Yu must tell that both parents will still love him although they won’t be living together and most of the time there will be only one of the parents around.

When all the family know what’s happening and how to deal with it, you must know when is it fine to not contact your ex partner and when it is not. It is sure that both parents will still have to spend a lot of time together. They doesn’t need to meet each other to talk about their own life’s or relationship if they don’t want to, but when it comes to children, both parents must be informed and involved in the same level.

If you really want to keep strong family bounds than also there will be a need to have some family time even if you have another partner. You need to go on holidays, celebrate birthdays and Christmas, go shopping together and do all the other things that any normal family does.

The biggest obstacle in keeping good relationship in most of the cases is the new relationship and sometimes even new family, but that is not a reason to forget about your other children. You must talk to your new partner and make sure there won’t be any problems to meet the children and their mother when it is needed. Also both families should keep friendly relationship, because there is a pretty big chance they will have to meet each other a lot.

All of the conditions mentioned above are very complicated. It really isn’t easy to start new relationship and at the same time keep the old life, but you must do it for your children. There will be some fights, but convince your children that it is not because of them.

How to build healthy family relationship?

In children’s life the most important thing is healthy family relationship. That is a base of the wellbeing and children’s overall mental health. Nothing else can replace loving and caring family. Unfortunately it is not always easy to build strong family relationship. That means putting families’ needs as a priority, even when there are other obligations and there is not always plenty of time to dedicate to family. If you want your children to grow up as strong personalities and good, loving people, make sure you do your best to build healthy family relationship.

There are two main dimensions that have important effects on strong family relationship – caring and warm communication and limits of children’s behavior. Parents must find balance between them and dedicate time to make sure they are engaging both of them. Of course, both of these dimensions include many blocks that must be taken into a consideration.

First block is overall communication. Dedicate time to communicate with your family members. Even if they are telling something that doesn’t seem too important, you must listen. That is the only way how to make sure your family members will talk about everything. Honesty and openness is the very base, so make sure you are not forgetting about daily communication.

Next block is togetherness. That means spending time together. This is usually a challenge for most of the parents. Although they consider family as their priority, when it comes to spending time together, work and other obligations suddenly turn out to be more important. Of course parents must work to financially support their children, but it must be remembered that money alone won’t give your children well childhood. You must also invest some of your time.

Affection is also important. Those can be words, hugs or kisses, but your family members must know that you love them. That is especially important for small children, because it obviously and clearly shows how important they are.

Acceptance is what really can help in strong relationship building. Show all your family members that you understand them and that you accept their choices even if you are in different thoughts. That is really hard, because parents what to protect their children and don’t want them to make any mistakes, but you must let them make their own decisions and accept them. You can tell your opinion but if that is not changing family members mind then just accept.

And the last block is commitment. Remember that you are responsible for your family members and you must do anything to make sure they have everything they need. You can’t just forget something or refrain from something and after that act like everything is fine.

So basically it is all about mutual understanding and trust, but it won’t magically appear by itself. You must work for it hard. You must earn your family members trust and show them that you will always be there for them. Your family must be a priority also practically, not only theoretically.

Fathers’ role in raising children

Father is very important mentor for children. Unfortunately in most of the families fathers are not involved into children’s lives in the same level as mothers. Fathers should not only play with kids once in a while and support them financially, but also be their mentor and fully get involved into parenting. It is proved that fathers’ engagement in children’s life can make meaningful difference in their behavior and mental health.

However mother alone also can ensure affection, communication, love and all the other important conditions, fathers tend to parent differently and children need to get it all from both parents. Feathers that get involved info parenting tend to spend some more private time with children alone and that can affect the children emotional development. This time together make children trust more and also make them feel important and evaluated. When they grow up they will feel sure about themselves and feel needed and accepted.

Also fathers are not so serious and worried about everything. Fathers like to play with their children rather than do something very educational and important. That can give the children bunch of good emotions. Children must be playful and cheerful. Usually fathers are those who can really ensure that with no obstacles.

Especially important is father’s role in rising sons. They must learn how to be a man. They must see a great example and they must mostly learn everything from their fathers not mothers. Unfortunately that is happening rear. Fathers do teach the most important things and even talk about some embarrassing topics, but teaching also must include influencing the emotional state of mind and that can be done only by spending time together and communicating a lot. Father must show the affection to improve the son’s behavior and mental health in indirect way.

But also in raising daughter, father should be involved. Also girls need to get an example of a man. Although daughters should learn mostly from others, they must know what men are, how they are different and what they should be like. There is reason why many girls choose their husbands similar to their fathers when they grow up. They subconsciously think that real man should be like their fathers, even if the fathers were not on the top level in parenting. If father wish all the best for his daughter then he must be the greatest example. Of course there are also some emotional aspects that daughters must get from the father.

Mothers definitely should not raise their children alone. Remember that some moments together is not all that father can give. He must be able to do everything that mother can There shouldn’t be a situation when father is not able to spend few days with children alone just because he doesn’t know what to do and how to raise them. Both fathers and children will appreciate if fathers get involved into full time raising.

Involve the grandparents into kids’ lives

Lot of grandparents love their grandchildren and are willing to spend time with them. On one hand it’s a good idea, because grandparents and children can have some good time and parents can have some time for themselves, but one the other hand lot of parents don’t want grandparents to tread on their way of parenting or just don’t trust them for some reasons. Grandparents really can affect the kids educational development, but if you do everything right, that can be a benefit instead of shortage.

The involvement of grandparents into the kids’ lives is very important, because of many aspects. First of all, by communicating with grandparents they can understand the variability of life. Also that is a good way how to teach family-oriented values. Kids can also learn lot of things from their grandparents directly, because of their life experience. Broadly speaking, it’s a good way how to expand kids’ horizons.

If you want to let your grandparents to spend a lot of time with your kids, but there are some special desires regards parenting or teaching, just tell that. Usually grandparents are not willing to dastard parents’ intentions and if they make some mistakes, it’s only because of not knowing parents’ view. Have an open conversation and make everything clear. If that is done, you can leave your kids with your grandparents.

Unfortunately, you can’t discuss every situation that might come up and if you don’t have any clue, how your grandparents will treat your kids, spend some time all together at first. Let your grandparents play with your kids and take care of them, but be there and watch them. If you don’t like something, just tell and it is pretty sure that grandparents will respect that. Later you will be able to leave them alone with no worries.

Another issue is that parents are afraid that grandparents won’t be able to cope with this task, because of their physical abilities. Kids can be quite active, so parents don’t want to entrust this task to grandparents. In this case you really should evaluate grandparents’ ability, but remember that they have raised some kids before.

However, if you don’t want to leave your kids with grandparents, for longer time, at least spent some time all together. Don’t push them out of your kids’ lives, because they can teach so much to them. Go for a walk together or go visit them often if they live far away. You don’t have to necessary let them raise your kids, but at least let them be a part of your kids lives.

There is no better way how to introduce your kids to family values than by spending time with grandparents. It does the honor to the grandparents and ensures strong connection between the generations.

How does parents’ relationship affect kids?

Kids learn everything from their parents including relationship modeling. They see how parents treat each other and that affects kids’ future relationships. Living in the same house kids sees all the arguments and disagreements, but doesn’t fully understand the reasons of them, so they can start to think that is a part of normal family life. If you don’t want that happen, you need to teach your kids relationship lessons with examples that explain the real situation.

First thing kids need to understand is that argumenting is not the same thing as fighting. If you are argumenting you can let the kids see that, because it’s a normal conversation, where the both parts have their own opinion, but never let the kids see you fighting. If you are using some inappropriate words, screaming or moralizing, don’t let your kids see that. They can think that it is normal to solve problems this way.

Of course, we all are only human and sometimes kids can see and hear some hard words parents say to each other, but that can be fixed. If your kids have witnessed something inappropriate, let them see that you have made a mistake and that is not a way how to talk to each other. Ask your partner for forgiveness and be sincere. Look each other in the eye, say sorry, and say what you did wrong. If your kids will see that, they will understand not only that fighting is wrong, but also that you need to take responsibility for your words.

Kids also need to see that parents always take care of each other. Remember that if you sometimes choose to ignore your partners’ needs, kids will see that as well and will think it’s normal to not consider family members needs. Let the kids see that problems are a part of family life and make them understand that they are common for all the family members. Never show discontent in these kinds of situations.

Also it is useful to show kids that there is need for a romance and privacy in relationship. Of course, you don’t need to tell all the details, but tell your kids that you will go out or spent some time alone to have some fun. That will teach your kids that marriage or partnership is not all about parenting and responsibilities and parents have their private life as well.

And the last thing every parent should teach their kids is that you have to love your partner no matter what. It is not enough if you only don’t fight in front of kids. They also need to see that you enjoy the marriage and family life. Otherwise they won’t be interested to have a serious relationship in the future. Say nice things to your partner, smile, treat each other well, give gifts and show how nice it is to have a husband or wife that loves you.

Have some quality family time!

Lot of people thinks they spent a lot of time with their family, because they see all the family members every day. They eat at the same table, drive in the same car and do the house works together. It is true – they spend time with family members, but it can’t be called a quality family time. To have a strong and happy family, you need to understand what quality family time is and why it is needed.

Quality family time for each family can mean something else. For some it is board game evening, for some trips around the world and for some simple conversations at the dinner table. Whatever it is, all family members have to be involved and they have to really enjoy it. Family time can’t be an obligation. It is a hard task to find activities that all family members enjoy, because each has different interests and needs, but it is the main success of family strengthening. If you have no idea what your family members want or if you know that each one of them want something different, make a family meeting an find a compromise.

Also it is very important for family time to be leisurely. If someone will watch at the clock all the time and think of work or other obligations, others will feel undervalued. Family time is meant only for family. Tell all your coworkers, friends and acquaintances to not disturb you. If you have loads of other works to do that really can’t be postponed than better choose another time to spend with your family.

It is very important to spend some quality time with your family, because it helps to build strong bounds with all the family members and makes all the family members to appreciate each other. Even if family members don’t say that loud, they appreciate that others take some time off for them. Hectic everyday life can be exhausting and family members sometimes see each other unhappy, mad or stressed, which makes to think that there is always something wrong. Especially kids may think that parents have some serious problems and nothing will be good anymore. Quality family time can show them, that everything is fine and everyone can have some fun.

Of course, family time is more important for kids. Parents can have some quality time also together with other people, but for kids it’s the best adventure. All the best childhood memories will be based on that. If you want to ensure a good childhood for your kids, than freed some time for them no matter what. It also affects the way your kids will look at life and priorities in the future.

So when you know what is a quality family time and why it is so important, ensure your family will have that. Other things can wait, because family always has to be the priority.